Dead Squirrel

Hey this is not the best title ... but this is what I saw today on my walk... but what I was inspired to write about was not the fact that it was dead squirrel... and typically you see them as road kill - indistinguishable ... This on the other hand was the strangest of things ... it was laying there on the sidewalk so peaceful but gone... It looked like it had fallen from the tree above... Maybe it was tired and old and could no longer do those impressive jumps from limb to limb... And today was its last magnificent feat flying through the air with nothing to grasp but the air as it flew to the ground ...

I wonder what went through its mind/heart when it was falling ... do you think it was scared like we humans might be - Knowing that this represents our ultimate demise... or was it simply enjoying the fall... and be what has to be ... life and death just exist without anything other than the moment... but to me as the passer-by ... the moment for me was the look on it as it lay there peaceful and still...

I think that death is a precious gift ... I know this may sound weird but I was fortunate enough to be present when my grandfather died - it changed my life - having seen what happens and staying behind in this world I find it has left me with knowledge that I always refer to.

And today - maybe because the squirrel spirit was with me I thought to my self of the words that we might think of when we pass away ... like "What we leave behind" and for some reason - I kept thinking that it is not what we leave behind ... but "What leaves us behind" - can't describe why I think this way ... but for some strange reason this thought kept coming to me today.. so maybe one day it will be more clear why I thought that way today ... but just felt like sharing that...

And when I was by my grandfather's bedside and he was slipping away... I asked him if he could hear me and he all he could do was nod ... so he nodded... I told him not to be afraid ... because he was a gardener that he already know what life was all about ... "don't be afraid you are simply going back to where it all came from anyway... " and I kept holding his hand and slowly he just slipped away ... and at one point I knew he was gone...

I wonder what it is in life the makes me want to reflect on this --- maybe it is what leaves us behind that does this - I haven't figured any of it out yet... all I know is that he was an inspiration in my life and continues to be that.

Wondering .............